"This is your pilot speaking! You have just won a free flight anywhere in the world! Please press 1 to redeem your prize"
Of course, like any sensible human would, I pressed 1. After being on hold for what felt like a week I was finally transferred to the prizing department. Funny thing about the prize was that I needed to take a flight to claim it. They offered to cover the first flight so I didn't have to fork out any cash. Crazy, right? Two free flights. What a day.
The first flight was insane! I can't remember how many stops we made but it must have been over 20! When I first boarded the plane I was one of maybe 5 people, but by the end of the trip we must have had at least 200! Lots of fellow winners. I met so many new friends. There was actually this one girl - I forget her name but she had these blueish-greenish-brownish eyes that lit up the inside of the plane like two million lightbulbs. I'm not sure what language she spoke but we talked the whole flight. I think I might have been in love.
We finally landed. Every seat was filled so I knew we couldn't be picking anyone else up. We had to be at our destination. We had to be claiming our prizes. It only made sense.
A flight attendant stood at the front of the plane with a clipboard and said,
"If I say your name, I would like you to please exit the plane behind me. And watch your step on the way out.
She began powering through names - the first was the girl I fell in love with. She exited slowly with grace, along with the others. The flight attendant must have said roughly 175 names before stopping.
"What about me?" I yelled desperately from the back.
She told me my prize was at the next stop. I peered jealously through my window at the blueish-greenish-brownish eyed girl walking effortlessly along the tarmac.
Left in the plane was myself and about 15 other people. Nobody I had any interest talking to. They moved us all to the back and blocked off the rest of the plane, permanently shutting the windows and padlocking the bathroom door. Lucky me landed a seat next to an unchaperoned crying baby. Beside the baby was this obese woman that wouldn't shut up about her cats in Arizona. Between the baby's screaming and the old woman's constant rambling about her cats in Arizona I couldn't take it.
It got dark quickly and we started heading through some turbulence. This guy two rows in front of me wouldn't stop throwing up. He had a "weak stomach". This one flight attendant deactivated the free TV, took away our blankets and said there would be no food for the rest of the flight. Later on the pilot's deep groggy voice rang through the speaker system saying we "probably wouldn't see an end to the turbulence".
What the fuck does that mean? What kind of airline is this? It's like hell in here.
All I want is my goddamn prize.